How to use your mind to positively influence others
I used to have mood swings a lot. Something like a yo-yo; up and down and up and down
Weird. I could never understand why I felt that way. Not that I fully understand it now but it’s getting better.
It got to a point where I began to look for help in the form of written articles, videos or anything that could be of use. I figured that if I was going through such an upheaval of emotions there would doubtless be others who might have experienced the same.
Luckily there was plenty of help available. The internet can be a blessing sometimes 😉
I digress.
I found a nice little course on CBT and started digging in (CBT Practioner Course — Kain Ramsay).
Our mind is not what it seems.
Turns out there are 3 parts to it; not biologically of course but at a practical level.
The Emotional Mind, the Rational Mind and the Wise Mind.
All my feelings; happy, sad, goofy etcetera belong to the Emotional part.
It’s like I wear my heart on my sleeve. Problem was that this was making me behave erratically. Perhaps because I looked at a situation subjectively rather than being objective about it. Definitely not a sustainable foundation to build my life upon.
But being emotionally driven does have it’s upside. I feel like I can understand people better which kinda makes me more empathic.
But I wasn’t all emotional.
At times all I wanted was data, facts and information. As if that was all that mattered in the world. I remember times when I managed to turn an ordinary conversation into a fact-finding mission of who was right and who was wrong that left the other person confused and probably wanting to hang himself.
That was the Rational part of my mind. Which is great but unless you actually derive some insight from all that data and information you gather, it’s pretty much pointless and you end up not being able to connect with people. No point being Dr. Know-All when it doesn’t help anyone.
I got this fascinating bit of advice from the course: People are never disappointed at what they end up finding. They are only ever disappointed when their expectations are not met.
Okay! So the Rational mind is where our expectations come from. Sweet.
I still haven’t learnt to get by without having expectations of people. Will be nice when I can make that happen.
Is there a middle ground, a sweet spot of things? Where the twain shall meet?
Yep there is. It is the wise mind. For those geometrically inclined, think of it like the intersection of the emotional and rational minds.
The wise mind is where I want to be. Not exactly attaining salvation but being more aware of myself. And it is only when I become more aware of myself and from where my feelings originate, will I be able to understand and relate better to the people and situations around me.
Which gives me a heady sort of feeling. If I understand why I say the things I say and do the things I do, I can perhaps manage myself better. And if I can do that, I might be able to influence others positively.
I become more objective in a pleasant sort of way and gain insights and ideas from a place of creativity.
Cool. Stands to reason that if I am more in control of my thoughts and actions, I will make better decisions and can contribute to people’s lives more meaningfully.
Anyway, that’s about all I have for today. Hope I’m leaving you with something you can chew on.
Feedback of any kind is welcomed, so comment below or hit me up on rlemos@mindwizzards.com
Sincerely,
Ryan “Wise Men Say” Lemos
References: CBT Practioner Course — Kain Ramsay
